1510717803 (N) by John Fuller

Author:John Fuller [Fuller, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2017-06-11T21:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 8

The Commissary

6 P.M.

LET’S SAY CELLIE looks up from the commissary checklist he’s filling out and says, “You got money in your account yet?”

You shrug and just look at him.

He’ll snort and say something like, “Whatever. Just seein’ if you want me to get you a candy bar.”

You say, “I really appreciate the offer, but I’m good, thanks.”

You’re probably not good, not really, and you’d chew off your arm for a goddamn candy bar, but there’s no way you’re telling this guy about your money situation, and you’re sure the hell not going to owe him over a bite of cheap, waxy chocolate. You can hold out until next week. Hopefully, your funds are available by then. Otherwise, another seven days from now, you might be ready to sell your soul for an expired Ding Dong.

Commissaries stock mostly personal hygiene items, snacks, and some small electronics. I found different prisons had different items for sale, some with better brands and healthier snack choices, others stocked with powdery shampoo and greasy crap such as Funyuns and Honey Buns. But all of them provided the most important thing: a small slice of normalcy.

When I first went in, I was at a county jail. Just like you, I’d never been in prison before. Suddenly, I had nothing. After a few days, when I was handed the one-page commissary inventory sheet and told I could buy up to five items if there was money in my account, I was actually surprised so many items were allowed. I was prepared to have nothing.

The basics are pretty simple. Most commissaries schedule a day and time for you to “shop,” once per week. In most county jails, commissary slips are handed out and collected the day before, and the commissary is brought back to your cell. In medium and maximum security joints, sometimes you will present your list when you show up and they will gather what is available. Other places will ask you to turn in a list at least one day ahead of time, having you fill out a checklist or simply writing down requests. There is no guarantee you will get what you ask for, but listen to the jailhouse chatter—the biggest source of gossip swirls around what’s new and what’s missing from the commissary shelves, as these guys rework their lists over and over before it’s their turn to order. Complaining when the commissary runs out of something will do you no good. It will only irritate the guy in charge of your supply list the following week. This is not the guy to piss off when you run out of deodorant or toothpaste.

When you first go in, it’s nice if you can put a one-time $400 to $500 in to your account to set yourself up, but you can easily get by on $200. If nothing else, hopefully someone can send you $20; you’ll need it to get at least some toothpaste, shampoo, and stamps. Whatever cash you were arrested with in your pockets will automatically be applied to your account.

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